Dating depressed girlfriend
And anyway, if anything your mind is telling you is real, it’ll still be there when you’re not feelings so flat, by which time any conversation you do have will be infinitely easier and more productive.
Try sharing the bigger picture of how you’re feeling (“Honey, I think I might be depressed”), rather than voicing your criticism of them. If you do find yourself in a discussion that you later regret, don’t worry about it; it’s all okay.
See if you can step back and think, “Ah, look at what I’m thinking now.” Watch out for assumptions your mind is making. Did they actually say that, or are you drawing conclusions yourself?
Chances are, you’re just seeing a reflection of your own thoughts.
The more depressed you are, the quieter your heart is. It’s not like you don’t have all the feelings in you; you just can’t feel them right now.
Just in case you’re tempted to worry about not having feelings. One day you’re connected to yourself, and therefore your partner too, and the next day you don’t feel connected to anything. When you don’t understand what happens when you’re depressed and you listen to everything your depressed mind says, you can cause havoc in your relationship.
Your mind’s always telling you things that aren’t true, and this applies even more so when you’re depressed.
The more you can differentiate between you and your mind, the easier this gets.
And actually, they’re not my feelings; they’re just some rubbish going through my head, which I misconstrue for feelings.
I’m pretty sure my head's a little twisted right now, but if there is something to talk about, let’s do it when I’m feeling better.” And do you know what?
On the odd occasion where there is something to talk about, if I wait until I’m feeling better, its no big deal: I talk, he listens, we both talk, and done. Result: You and your partner have some level of connection, you’ve honored your “flatness” by accepting it, and you’ve avoided a silly discussion based on a misperception.
Rather than respond to all the rubbish your mind is telling you, it can be more useful to take a step back and just notice what you’re thinking.
If you want to say something about how you’re feeling, you could say something like, “Oh sweetie, I’m feeling a bit flat tonight.
I’m thinking about this today, because—drum roll, please—I’m a little depressed.