Dating someone with multiple sclerosis
Hi all, i decided to post because I just started dating this unbelievably wonderful guy who has ms. It doesn't seem to matter how much we love them or try to understand the condition... It feels good to know I'm not the only one going through these emotions and thinking these thoughts.I want to be better informed about the illness & how it's affecting him. I have been with my wonderful man for two years now, but he is afraid of marrying me and becoming a burden. it's a reasonable feeling he has of being a burden on you. we will never truly be able to comprehend as a woman what it's like for a man to face losing his masculinity and being dependent on the woman in his life. The advice, stories and experiences here are priceless and what I needed to hear. Our personalities are a matchmade in heaven and when we look into each others eyes--the realness we have and connection we share is indescribable.There were times when he told me that I will be his "retirement package", and that he is looking for a woman to support him. It would have saved me my well-paid job, and, the quality of my life. On another occasion, he said that I scored the highest as he was choosing his'ideal' candidate; he was working on a pre-defined agenda. One day we went for a ride and he was driving with 100 kms an hour. He said that he did that to his children all the time. He is fiercely independent, which rocks, but I want to be able to support him when/if that time comes. I have been dating a wonderful man who was diagnosed with MS in 2001..major relapses, just minor things coming up here and now... Most men would rather face a life time alone than being a burden in yours. make the commitment and don't let him push you out... I recently fell in love with a man who confessed to me that he's been diagnosed with MS five years ago. I've been in love before, but nothing compared to the love and connection I have with him And just go figure--my dream man has an illness (which in my eyes ironically enough, if you were to know me, shows him to be even more perfect for me). Pretty much, finding eachother made me a true believer that there is a GOD (if you can relate to where I'm coming from). So Im pretty experienced in taking care of people with illnesses.So I guess i'm looking for starting points - good resources on ms, general info, because i'm not familiar with the illness. Fortunately, my boyfriend and I are older and I'm very aware of the responsibility that may be in our future... I'm a pretty roughneck, tough girl, sometimes even more dominant than a lot of the men I use to date in the past--well, he pretty much summed up my appreciation for finally having him in my life when he once told me..."You know what it is? Because there is no way I can have this strong of a connection with someone and have someone made for me--to the T. So to find out he has this disease--really left me in a lost for words. I have a good idea of how MS looks, I've taken care of many patients with a history of MS.And I agree--love isn't enough..maybe you just need the support and recognition of all your hard work and efforts to make a man feel loved and cared for at his vulnerable time.
I am left wondering who is he, and, what is his purpose in my life? Before I moved in with him, his sister took me aside and told me exactly how he is (manipulative and abusive). I wish I would have paid close attention to all of these before moving in with him.
He was a successful man, charismatic, good looks, the dream of any woman. After I moved in with him, I discovered him, the true him.
Four years in the relationship, I discovered that he has been on online dating sites for casual sex.
He has memory issues, but, his depression and emotional roller-coster is something I do not wish upon anybody to witness. His children, now adults in their late twenties, never call him or talk with him. (It is a horrible yell, that, for normal people it is difficult to imagine). It is also sad to know that he had a pre-defined agenda before coming into this relationship..wanted someone to be his caretaker.
I knew nothing about MS, he looked normal, talked normal...and, most importantly, I was in love with him. Sometimes, I go check his pulse...there are days when he wakes up at 2 p.m.
A support group might help giving the other one ideas to cope so they don't just throw in the towel. Jim im a man with MS i was diagnosed about 8 1/2 years ago when i was diagnosed i asked my wife of 13years i told her all i know about the illness she also looked up on the illness i told her then if she couldn't cope with my illness leave me now last year we celebrated our 21 wedding anniversary she got me a brilliant pressy two police men a van my best mate and loaded half my furniture in to the van and left me she as told so many lies about me now i am trying to sort my life out my mate who i grow up with moved back from cornwall when i started losing my balance more as i started breaking bones in jan this year i brook my back in three places then in feb i feel and snapped my leg tib and fib i am waiting for an appointment to see a newro sergon now i just wish my wife would have left me 8 1/2 years ago I am a happy go lucky kinda guy.