Friendships dating blogspot com
When you talk to someone every day, as most couples who are engaged to be married do, there’s very little day-to-day activity that goes unmentioned. And you would not be wrong for expressing your discomfort to Scott and telling him you have a real problem with him spending time alone with a woman he was had more than platonic feelings for and whom he can’t bring himself to introduce to you.
Unless, of course, there’s an activity that one party wants to keep secret from the other. You have a bad feeling about Scott’s friendship with Amber and for good reason. He said he wanted closure and wasn’t looking for a “friend” and yet he has continued to see this woman he once had — and maybe still has? You are not wrong in telling him you can’t understand why he’d WANT to be friends with someone he speaks so negatively about and that you have to wonder what it is that keeps him wanting more from her despite having supposedly gotten “closure.” You can tell him you have no problem with him having female friends — maybe even female friends he has crushed on or dated — but you do have a problem with him having female friends he sees behind your back, can’t bring himself to introduce to you, and has such unpleasant things to say about.
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable dictating whom your fiancé can and cannot be friends with, but I hope you also don’t feel comfortable marrying someone until you feel 100% confident that he has the best interests of you and your relationship at heart, above everything else.
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I would be out of town for work, and he seemed pretty relieved that I wouldn’t be able to join them. And if she does that, then of course his friendship with her would be over. She is now getting a divorce, she’s having an affair with a wealthy married man and now apparently, she would be mean to me. Why would Scott want to be friends with this woman? — Concerned Fiancée First of all, let’s get something clear: you are not a “crazy, insecure girl” because you’re worried about your fiancé meeting up for “closure” with some chick whom he once had unrequited feelings for and being relieved that you’ll be out of town when he finally sees her.
After some discussion (the crazy insecure girl inside of me came to the surface), he explained that he just wanted closure, that he wasn’t looking for a friend, just wanted to get some feelings resolved. I can’t keep somebody from trying to move on from hurt feelings. He knows that I am hurting over this friendship and that I cannot understand it, and yet there is no resolution. Second, it wasn’t “closure” if he’s still meeting up with her occasionally behind your back.
Maybe there’s chemistry there he doesn’t want you to witness.
I think it’s because he’s worried what you’ll think when you see them together.You two are engaged, which means you probably talk a lot (and if you don’t, you shouldn’t be engaged). They discuss every detail of their days when they’re apart.They talk about whom they ate lunch with, what they watched on TV last night, what crazy thing their mom said in an email this morning.What you know about her relationship with your fiancé is that it has, at one point (and perhaps still), included romantic feelings and that most of it — including the woman herself — has been kept secret from you.I’d say for those reasons alone you have very good cause to be concerned, and to feel disrespected. Let him know he’s treading on thin ice here and that his behavior is putting your relationship in jeopardy.
Establish the kind of respect you hope to have in your marriage NOW.