Getting to know you dating
Clear out any and all extraneous things that could potentially ping their way in to the space that you are creating and handle them ahead of time. If you don’t like it you never have to do it again; but this exercise could be the exact thing you need to take your relationship from surviving to thriving.It’s unbelievable how much even a 30-minute, distractions free, emotional block busting session once per week conducted from the comfort of your bed can do for your entire relationship. Assuming that you are kicking things off right by lying down together in a distractions-free room, it’s always good to ask if your partner needs anything before you start leaning into the heavier stuff.This question refers to non-sexual touch (sexual touch is coming up soon). Do they adore when you come up behind them and wrap your arms around them?Is there any kind of physical intimacy that they feel is lacking? Ask, get clear on what would make them feel more loved, and then incorporate that kind of touch into your daily schedule to the best of your ability.Or perhaps diving right into physical affection is more their way of relating.Whatever they need, all it takes is one simple question in order for you to better understand your partner and to go deeper in your relationship.” Whatever favor they ask of you, you aren’t contractually obligated to comply.But simply by asking the question and letting them voice their honest thoughts, you will be engaging in the dance of intentional intimacy. this is where we start to head into the emotionally uprooting territory of this exercise.
Sincerely thank them for sharing their thoughts with you (it’s not an easy thing to do for most people), and follow up by apologizing for the incident, or asking what you can do or say to help them feel more complete about the event.Just like symphony orchestra members tune to each other before they play a concert, you and your partner might need to touch base before you get in to the good stuff.Maybe they want to lie in silence for a minute and breathe deeply. the all encompassing dream/mission/passion supporter. Sometimes this question will spark something for your partner, and sometimes it won’t—and that’s okay.Maybe they want you to hug them and show your love with your eye contact first. Maybe it will come out as something as simple as “Could you please kiss me in the mornings before you get out of bed… It really affects my day for the better if you kiss me before getting up and getting dressed.” Or it could be something as large as “I’m about to take on a really huge project at work and I really don’t know how much mental bandwidth I’ll have by the time that I get home.Or maybe they need to quickly go and make sure that their cell phone is completely switched off. Would you mind making dinner for the next week and I promise I’ll make it up to you after this particular work sprint dies down?
I recommend asking some of the following questions once every few months, and others on a weekly basis.