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Posted by / 31-Jul-2020 02:10

If he asked for some more time to feel it out, would that feel alright?

Sometimes it can be hard to know what’s a deal-breaker and what’s an acceptable compromise; if you’ve had a hard time sticking up for yourself in the past, I’d try to err on the side of deal-breaker.

Many people jump into having “the talk” because it feels like the logical step after dating for a while, but you want to make sure that moving forward is something you actually want. It sounds like you’re pretty clear that you want to be in a committed relationship, but it’s still worth taking the time to clarify your feelings before you approach him. Does it mean you’re starting to integrate your lives? Next, spend some time thinking about where you are and are not willing to compromise.

Make sure you know how to adequately describe what you’re looking for. If he was willing to be exclusive, but wasn’t ready to get serious, would that be OK?

This week’s topic: how to talk about commitment with someone new — even before you have sex.What I’d suggest is to let him know what you’re looking for, then give him some time to respond.After one of your dates, say something like, “I’ve been having a really good time with you, and I feel like I’m ready to take the next step.” In positive terms, describe what you envision that as being. “I’d like for us to be monogamous” feels a lot different than, “I won’t have sex with you unless you commit to being monogamous.” After you’ve described what you want, say, “I don’t want you to feel put on the spot, so I thought I’d give you some time to think about you want. ”If you’re worried about feeling shy in the moment, pretend that you are going to have “the talk” for your best friend.Be willing to walk away if it becomes clear that you’re not looking for the same thing.How he responds is a good indicator of his character.

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