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The functional disorders that are a result of the autism, characterize precisely the core areas which are most important for a person’s healthy and safe sexual development, especially the development of an intimate physical, emotional and social contact with other people.Romance is often the very thing that can be lacking from the sexual side of the relationship and this can, in time, have a detrimental effect upon the quality, ore willingness of either partner to participate in making love.This article is about the particular challenges that exist when one partner has an autism disorder (ASD / High functioning autism, Hfa) and the other partner is normally (NT) developed, i.e.the NT partner does not have a developmental disorder.The loved one, who has no insight into the complexity of Asperger’s Syndrome and Hfa, has no chance of realizing that the apparent social skills in romance and relationship forming are not an intuitively naturally behavior for the aspie, but are a learned response from copying and memorizing other people’s behavior.
They are developmentally delayed in Theory of Mind abilities (Baron-Cohen 1995).
Many neuro typical spouses recount their unhappiness when their partner does not want to kiss or be caressed, and they then suffer the AS-partner’s rejection of physical and emotional intimacy.
(1, 3, 4, 5)Tactile defensiveness or other sensory issues of the AS partner may be so extreme that shared adult sleeping arrangements are not possible.
Some individuals with AS can be very robotic or technically perfect in bed without paying attention to their partner’s need for an emotional connection and foreplay before intercourse.
Some individuals with AS also don’t enjoy sex due to their sensory issues and/or low sex drive.
She is completely uninterested in intimacy and physical sex. Her passivity makes me feel like a criminal, if I try to reach her and touch her.